Another day in America, another massacre.
Not a fan of background checks? Feeling good about the success of all those good guys with guns taking care of bad guys with guns? Still insist on a well regulated militia to counter the nation's nuclear-capable military? Think the Second Amendment is more important than the right to live in a society where you don’t have to worry about someone with a weapon and a bad mood coming through the door at Starbucks?
Any Constitution-loving citizen of these great United States would agree that our government representatives are of the people, not above the people. If those who choose not to carry guns must live as fish in a barrel at work, in kindergarten, on college campuses, in houses of worship, in shopping malls and in night clubs, shouldn’t the elected and appointed representatives of our executive, legislative and judicial branches share the same level of protection and risk provided by our laws?
Today, as a red-blooded, native-born American citizen bestowed with all the rights and responsibilities of the U.S. Constitution, one who cedes his own right of self-government to the lawfully elected representative government of this land, I call for the removal of metal detectors and security guards at the White House, for the removal of metal detectors and security guards at the Capitol, and for the removal of metal detectors and security guards at the Supreme Court.
I'm certain this proposal will not be met with any sense of outrage or dread. It will be embraced by everyone who stands by the wisdom of our Constitution as it was written all those years ago, when a man's musket was his insurance against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
If we must live in a society that accepts mass murder as a condition of our constitutional rights, then every citizen – elected, appointed or civilian – should equally share this burden.
Oh, and after the metal detectors and security are removed, I expect our government officials to immediately quadruple the amount of federal aid available for mental health services in this country. Because this isn’t a gun issue, it’s a mental health issue. That’s what our president said this morning, right?
That is all. Carry on. And keep your head down.
